Lars Thoughts – Hell On Two Wheels

By Lars Larson

There’s a reason people like me hate the spandex mafia. And I use that term to refer to a specific group of lawless bicyclists who bring a bad rep to all the rest.

Case in point: In Spokane a bicyclist speeding down a trail spots two older women walking ahead of him. He shouts “hot pizza” which is some kind of hipster lingo that means “get the hell out of my way”. Witnesses say he had room to pass the women as they’re taking up less than half of the trail. Instead, he plows into a 67 year old woman, throwing her to the ground, injuring her knee, fracturing her elbow. His immediate reaction is to curse and disparage the woman. After all, he, a cyclist the holiest of the holy, has warned her to clear a path and she has caused him to hit her.

At the emergency room, this creep on two wheels posts to Facebook about how these old folks and mothers with strollers constantly get in the way. After her injuries are doctored, the woman calls police, who inform her “nothing we can do”.

Frankly I think this spandex mafia type should be charged with vehicular assault. And to the law abiding polite cyclists out there, this is not about YOU.


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